Ever since birth, I've been a very loud, stubborn, artistic kid constantly looking for the next newest way to either make someone laugh, smile, or just to listen to my hour long made up stories that had a drawing for every single pointless part. My passions for helping and entertaining others later grew into what I'm doing today, as well as now doing my best to make people cry as a way of healing. (Tears of joy I mean, haha!)

As an extremely sensitive individual, later finding out that I'm an empath, as well as being diagnosed ADHD, General Anxiety, as well as Autism, and Emetophobia (The phobia of nausea and vomiting.) Throughout my life i've had a few labels or diagnosis's thrown at me, as well as learning which I relate to heavily myself. I'm not one for labels, so whatever my official labels are, I know who I am and what helps me, and that I desperately want to help others like me. I grew up struggling so badly in school and most my childhood with social anxiety, extreme seperation anxiety from my parents, ect. I was the kid to be quietly crying in the corner while drawing, or playing with nobody but the fall leaves at recess.

Things only gotten worse as I grew older. Struggling daily with extreme physical and mental health issues, and fighting to hold back the anxiety or panic attacks that came with it. Slowly, I began to fall in love with my sorrows, and turned them into my inner power. I no longer felt lonely and cold, but rather alone in my sorrowful serenity. I began creating online media and content. This gave me the ability to create and connect, and never would little me have guessed it would turn out the amazing way it did. But little did she know, the brutal fights that were to come of it as well.

Having finally made some good progress on my physical health (the recovery of POTS-Postural Orthostatic Tachychardia Syndrome, and ongoing acid reflux and overall gut health issues, ect) is when my mental health took a huge turn.

Having found my new glory and happiness of posting and connecting with others like me online, being able to share my passions and talents, I was so optimistic. I've no doubt always been a socially online creator or member, always playing online games or making my own websites or even instagram pages for my pets- but I've never gone through anything as bad as what I was about to experience. My true first ever introduction to just how cruel the world can be, and is in general.

My first and one of the worst social attacks I've been through was from my first big video to go viral on tiktok. I learned then that with any type of fame or attention, comes with great amounts of hatred and people rooting for you to fail. My video was a simple comedy video of the POV (Point of view) of finding out that an excess amount of sugar cravings can often be linked to your ADHD, as it's one of it's many symptoms. But everything so easily get's misconstrued and twisted on the internet.

Another big following account reposted my video saying things like "what a stupid b*tch" and "self diagnosed medical system worshipper" and other awful things. Hundreds of their followers began to attack me off of that one video. I hit my rock bottom after that online encounter, being someone who feels things way more intensely than the average. I never felt more alone in my life, having gone through a harsh breakup at the time, as well as being shunned or talked down to for feeling upset about this in the first place. I felt I had no way out.

I won't lie and say that this was quick to recover from, or that I was no longer depressed after this blew over, and that I'm thriving now. Many people will tell you stories or advice of how they struggled a ton, but "it gets better" and "I'm healed now." There's nothing wrong with saying that or it being true to certain individuals, but one of my many mottoes is "life is like a roller-coaster, it has its constant ups and downs."

Roughly a year after constant battles like this, another huge downfall hit. When I first created my first ever Recovery Pen, I was still in these constant back to back battles, and feeling alone no matter what. These circumstances led me to feelings of wishing harm upon myself, feeling either extreme uncurbable guilt, or self hatred, fueled by the situations I mentioned as well as emotionally abusive relationships at the time.

As well as having been surrounded with loved one's struggling with self-harm or suicidal thoughts and tendencies, I decided it's time something more is done about this. I wanted to help keep the people I love safe, one of those people, below all the self hatred and shame, being myself. After a while of pondering on the idea, I sat there and thought to myself: This is near impossible to avoid, especially considering the variety of reasons to want to self-harm, so we need something that's going to replace it in a safe way, that's close enough to want to use instead, that won't actually harm your skin in any way.

Posting my newly invented Recovery Pen online, little did I expect, it went viral.

Truthfully, things DO get better. Things never stay the same. We fall and scrape our knees, but then we bandage it, and get back up. Then the next time it happens, it still hurts nonetheless, but our skin is a tiny bit stronger. Not every traumatic or negative experience will make us stronger, sometimes it rather makes us more "numb" to similar future experiences.

But either way, I strongly believe and have lived the fact that you will find the power within you to learn to keep fighting. Life is often a constant battle, and we need to just keep fighting and fighting.